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Just for a laugh (Read 2220 times)
cumbriahandyman
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Just for a laugh
Feb 25th, 2013, 6:03pm
 
SCHOOL REGISTER

Register being read on the first day back at a school in Birmingham.

The teacher began calling out the names of the pupils:-

“Mustafa Al Eih Zeri?” “Here”

“Achmed El Kabul?” “Here”

“Fatima Al Hayek? ” “Here”

“Ali Abdul Olmi?” “Here”

“Mohammed Bin Kadir?” “Here”

“Ali Son al En” – silence in the classroom.

“Ali Son al En” – continued silence as everyone looked around the room.

The teacher repeated the call.

A girl stood up and said, “Sorry miss, I think that’s me. It’s pronounced Alison Allen.
=============================
An Englishman, American, Frenchman and a Muslim on top of the Eiffel Tower.

The American throws a load of money off the top.

"Why did you do that"? Ask the others.

"We have so much money in the States I can afford to do it" says the American.

"Ok" says the Frenchman and throws a bottle of champagne off the top, saying

"We have so much champagne in France I can afford to do it"

The Muslim looks at the Englishman and says " Don't you f------ dare!"
===========================
It was the Scotland/Wales rugby International weekend in Edinburgh and as the crowds made their way down Princes Street towards Murrayfield, a Rottweiler suddenly lunged towards an eight year old Scottish lass, with its jaws wide open ready to attack.

The crowd nearby gasped in horror but, quick as a flash, a man in red jumped out of the crowd, grabbed the dog by the throat and throttled it.

As the dead dog lay there, and the crowd cheered in admiration, a journalist from the Glasgow Herald who had witnessed the heroic deed, went up to the man and said, 'That was brilliant, I can see the headline now -

'Welsh Rugby Fan Saves Young Girl From Certain Death'.

The man replied, 'No you've got it wrong. I'm not here for the rugby!'

'Don't worry' said the journalist, 'I can see the headline now -

'Welshman Saves Girl From Jaws Of Rottweiler'.

The man replied, 'No you're wrong again. I'm not Welsh; I'm from London .'

The journalist said, 'Don't worry; I can see the headline now -

'English Bastard Strangles Family Pet'..
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