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Oct 20th, 2018, 10:08am
Quote: If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

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A few one-liners ... (Read 1560 times)
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"Daddy fick it" says James

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Re: A few one-liners ...
Reply #2 - Mar 22nd, 2018, 12:30pm
I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for 6 years... I didn't want to interrupt her.

Ken Dodd RIP
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Re: A few one-liners ...
Reply #1 - Oct 20th, 2017, 9:25am
Funny stuff Ray. I've actually never heard of the Hobbit de Niro one. Made me chuckle.
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Crowborough, East Sussex, United Kingdom
Crowborough, East Sussex
United Kingdom

Gender: male

A few one-liners ...
Nov 22nd, 2016, 5:03pm
I saw a couple on Exmouth sea front having a stand up row this morning - or paddle boarding as it's usually known.

Sad that Christopher Robin has had to close his massage business because he kept kneading a Pooh.

My neighbour’s daughter said she wanted a fairy-tale life, so I've trapped her in her gran's bedroom with a wolf.

Wedding anniversaries:
1 - Paper
3 - Leather
5 - Wood
10 - Tin
20 - China
25 - Silver
30 - Pearl
40 - Ruby
50 - Gold
60 - Printer Ink

"FYI" sounds like a polite Geordie trying to avoid saying an actual swear word.

Just seen Bonnie Tyler's new cardiology video. It's totally clips of the heart.

Woke up this morning with a mammoth erection - and a lot of explaining to do at the Natural History Museum.

English teachers - you mark my words.

I once donated some sperm. The man shaking the charity bucket was not impressed though.

Blue pills gives me a hard-on, whereas blue cheese gives me a stilt-on.

I think farting in a Primark dressing room would actually make it smell better.

"You Tolkien to me?!" - Hobbit de Niro.

When I get home from work, I change my clothes, make some tea, read the papers, listen to Hungarian Classical music... The Liszt goes on.

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At the younger end of the "old fart" scale.
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