Pro-Spark
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>Two fish swim into a concrete wall. >One turns to the other and says "dam" >********** >Two peanuts walk into a bar >One was a salted. >********** >A jump-lead walks into a bar. >The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." >********** >A sandwich walks into a bar. >The barman says, "Sorry - we don't serve food in here." >********** >A dyslexic man walks into a bra. >********** >A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and >says: "A beer please, and one for the road." >********** >Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married. >The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was brilliant. >********** >Two cannibals are eating a clown. >One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?" >********** >"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'." That >sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's not unusual." > > >********** >Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to >Dolly: >"I was artificially inseminated this morning." >"I don't believe you," said Dolly. >"It's true, no bull!" >********** >A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts. >The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts." > > >********** >Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. >One says, "I've lost my electron." >The other says, "Are you sure?" >The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..." >********** >Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullsh#t before. >********** >A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's >cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? "Well," says the >vet, "let's have a look at him". So he picks the dog up and >examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm >going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" >"No, because he's really heavy" > > >********** >Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese and there are 5 >people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum >or my dad......or maybe my older brother Colin, or my younger >brother Ho-Cha-Chu, but I'm pretty sure it's Colin. > > >********** >I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't >find any. >********** >I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he >couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. And he said, "No, the >steaks are too high." > > >********** >My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. >He was pulled in by a strong currant. >********* >A man walks into doctor's office. >"What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc. >"It's... um... well... I have five penises." replies the man. >"Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a >glove." > > >********** >What do you call a fish with no eyes? >A fsh >******** >Two fish are in a tank >One says to the other "I'll man the guns, you drive" >
Don't blame me they are not mine
Tony
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