Manuel is on the first day of his new job at the lumber site. The foreman gives him his chainsaw and tells him to go cut some trees down.

Manuel does as he is told, and at the end of the day reports back that he's felled 5 trees. Supervisor not very happy, but it's Manuels first day so he let's it be.

Next day same trick. Manuel reports back that he's felled 9 trees and that he's getting the hang of it. Supervisor this isn't good enough because a decent lumberjack should be pulling down 150 trees a day.

So the next morning the supervisor says to Manuel "tell you what mate, I'll come out with ya and give you some tips". And off they go.

Manuel watches his supervisor carefully, then jumps 3 feet in the air as the supervisor pulls the handle and starts up the chainsaw.

"For Foiks sake begorrah - what the foik is that noise?".

[quote author=big_all  link=1085141225/0#1 date=1085153977]a spaniard with an irish acsent [/quote]
Well I did get hauled over the coals the last time I posted an irish joke, so I thought the spaniards were in for a taster this time

I was going to introduce the lead role as Manuel McPaddy, but thought that might be taking the mick (pun intended ).

Andrew

diclaimer and tems+conditions
               read them hanymac

wow, that made me go  
i read the title as ;
'Manuel gets a blow job'
and was expecting spanish porn

where is it??! ???

ss

if this wasnt the humor forum id be worrid aswell

ss

2 young friends were playing football in the park, just outside Manchester, when out of nowhere, a savage beast of a dog attacked one of them that started to go for the throat and all that. His friend, however, managed to bring up all his courage and wrestled the dog off his friend, kills the dog and saved the day, and all that.

A reporter was walking past at the time, and was so impressed by this act of courage, that he offered to run the heroic story on page 1. So he went up to the boy and said, "I can see the headlines now. UNITED FAN SAVES FRIEND FROM VICIOUS BEAST." The boy replied, "But I don't support Man U." "Ok," said the reporter, "CITY HERO RESCUES MATE FROM SAVAGE ANIMAL." "I don't support City either," was the reply from the boy. "Who do you support then?" said the reporter. "I support Liverpool," came the reply. So, the next day, the headline said  

SCOUSE BASTARD MURDERS FAMILY PET

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?" "No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and Tom Cruise shouts, "Dave! What's happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer! Although impressed, Dave's boss is still sceptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just >lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Dave says. "President Bush," his boss quickly retorts."Yup," Dave says, "Old buddies, let's fly out to Washington." And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up." Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Dave. "My people are from Poland, and I've known the Pope for years." So off they fly to Rome. Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Dave says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the pope." And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Making his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him, "What happened?" His boss looks up and says, " It was the final straw - you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who the f **k's that on the balcony with Dave?"

my what now?