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HM
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Daughter was late coming in, so Mum went up to her bedroom and was horrified to find an envelope on the bed marked "Mum - Please Read"......
Dear Mum,
I'm afraid I couldn't face you today as I've decided to move out and go live with my new boyfriend Leonard. You haven't met him yet, but I love Leonard to bits. He's got cute tattoos all over his body and has had his nipples pierced. And he rides this most fantastic large motorbike. So don't worry about me Mum, I'll be okay. Even though I'm only 15 I know how to get on in the world.
I regret to say that you are going to be a grandmum soon, and that's the main reason why I've decided to go live in the woods in Leonard's caravan. I don't want to put you to any trouble, and can't face having an argument with you about the situation I'm in.
As far as money goes we'll be okay. We've found that marijuana isn't bad for you like the government says, it's quite good really. And we are going to grow our own to sell on street corners so that we can pay our way. Some of it will be given to Leonard's friends who will pay us in kind with cocaine and ectasy. So you know we'll do okay don't you?
We'll be praying that the scientists come up with a cure for AIDS one day soon so that Leonard can get better to look after his new family. We'll come and visit you soon Mum to introduce your new grandchild, 'cos I know you like little kids. Leonard's pretty keen on having a large family by me so you'll have a lot to look forward to.
Anyway Mum, that's all for now. Please don't worry about me because I'll be okay - I promise.
Best wishes from your loving daughter Pamela. XXXXXXX
P.S. None of the above is true - I'm in the next door neighbours. I just wanted you to know that there are some things in life that are a lot worse than a bad school report. You'll find that in my top drawer.
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Dear Mum (Read 2835 times)
